nothing at all in my head.

i can't seem to snap out of this dreamy state. my vacation this time around was so bitter-sweet, i think it may have even given me permanent a stomach ache. will's car broke down just before i got there, so we didn't go many places or too far from his home, but that was fine by me. the best memory i have of it all is lounging on his couch, with pillows and a blanket, he in his boxers and t-shirt, me in my night slip, legs sprawled out across him, watching movies inside with fans and the a/c blasted up, on a muggy florida afternoon. we watched "fanastic mr.fox" and "the adventures of baron munchausen", drank iced tea [with plenty of ice] and ate waffles with strawberries.

what more could a dreamy-eyed, lazy girl ask for?

this time at the airport neither of us cried. i think it was too early in the morning to really feel anything but tired. nevertheless it was sad. and i hate leaving him.

wishlist.

this started out as a generic birthday wish, but i'll just consider this a general wishlist for the rest of this year [they are in no particular order]:

- get a new cell [preferably a blackberry bold. yep, i'll be one of those jerks.]

- get rid of this old computer of mine and upgrade to a pretty laptop. i am thinking a nice toshiba.

- learn to bake. i mean really go nuts with cookies, cupcakes, cakes, petits fours, everything.

- get will up here, be it to visit or live?

- find the perfect haircut and keep it for at least a full year.



...i will continue to add more to this, providing i remember!

just another diamond day.

i've been in a very 60s/70s whimsical girly folk mood as of late. i think it's mostly to do with the anticipation of spring. i want to wear florals and pastels, put my hair up in a bouffant and curl just the tips. wear peachy lipsticks and blushers ,false lashes and lots of black eyeliner.

it may also relate to the happiness i find myself luxuriating in when i'm talking to will about our future. i'm not saying it won't be stressful, but i am excited, and i hope it goes as planned.

if marriage [dun, dun, dunnnnn] is the end all and be all, so beit. i'm still not one for big weddings [though i will take a cake], but if it will help us be together, why not? city hall, here i come! maybe. as for rings. eh. if anything at all, which i really don't care so much for, i'd want a simple, thin, unpolished, hammered gold band [no diamonds whatsoever]. something that won't cost more than a few hundered dollars.
the only reason i'd except it, is because he wants to give me one. which is cute.
but please, nothing big and gaudy. i'll save those for cocktail parties.

lullaby.

i wish i could just quit this lousy job and create beautiful things. i'm tired of worrying about stepping on petty and insecure people's toes every day. the most frightening and annoying thing is seeing similarities of them, in myself.
i need to get out.

i realize now, no matter how hard i try, i was not born to stand in with the norm of uncreative people. it runs in my blood to create, not just appreciate creativity.

the things i want and the things i got.

firstly, i have to say, i really love eriebasin.com. even if i can't afford anything they find, i at least know i have a slim chance of finding something like it out there [especially when i got to the antique market].


example; these 1880s carved whitby jet mourning earrings [gush] are worth about $595 CAD. but man do i love them. so their similar counterpart will be my next hunt.

secondly, i don't know if i mentioned this earlier, but after realizing that my jewelry had been stolen from my luggage, i found out on my first day back at work, that three pairs of my shoes were thrown out. one of which were worth $200. not nice. so, my manager promised me that i could find a new pair around the same price, and he'd have the company pay for them. sounds fair. and it just so happens i had my eye on these sweet little shoes.



when i first saw them they were on sale for $200! but i went back to see if they still had them the other day, and they had gone down to $118. you've no idea how happy i was when i found out. i kept thinking about them after i first laid eyes on them, i mean i really thought i might spend the $200 on them, even knowing i couldn't really afford it. so i guess, in the long run, it was meant to be. they remind me of edward scissorhands! not to mention, i wore them to work today, and they are super comfy!

i'm pretty darn happy right now [even if i am losing my voice for the second time. jeez louise].

good weather makes for good outfits.

i'm going to the antique market tomorrow. it's supposed to be an amazing 6 degrees with nothing but sun tomorrow, so hopefully my outfit will look something like this. i just really wish i had those boots!

after my little extravaganza at the market, i'd like to come home, have a late lunch, a nap, and then go out again to meet everyone at toby's for cheap drinks and a few good laughs.

we die forever.

i've been really moody lately. i think he's annoyed by it and is getting cold feet. things already seem different. perhaps it is just because we're so far apart for so many months at a time. i hope that's all it is. i don't like second guessing matters of the heart.

happy valentine's. i think i'll leave this holiday to the victorians.